where Randomness meets Life

Category Archives: Relationships

Remember the last time you wrote a letter to a friend, family or a stranger? You’d ask why write a letter when you can stay in touch through social networking sites or phone. Also, who has the time or the patience.

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I wrote a letter to a friend few days back, with no specific agenda, with nothing to say yet when I started writing, there was so much to write, so much to say. That’s the magic of handwritten letters. When you’re writing, you’re pouring your heart out, without thinking too much. You’re giving them all your attention unlike apps like Whatsapp where you’re talking to multiple people or social networking sites where multiple people and multiple
things distract you. A letter ensures the words are flowing directly from the heart, without much interference from the mind.

In today’s world while we are running around, connecting to zillions of people; it’s important to pause and focus. That’s where writing a letter helps. Even if you’re writing to yourself, you’re disconnecting from everything else and just giving all the attention to yourself. I feel we are forgetting the art of focusing one one thing at a time, we want to multitask all the time, our brain overworking all the time. We want to always win in the race, we want to do 100 things at one time instead of doing one thing a 100 times.

But every time we write a letter, we a giving our brain some rest time, we are relieving it of stress and we are giving our undivided attention to a person. So, pick up a pen and a paper and write. There is nothing wrong or right when you’re writing a letter. At times, it’s plain
gibberish or random thoughts put on a paper. It’s a timeless way to tell someone how much they matter, how much you care, how important they are- for you’ve put aside everything to write to them. Remember how our older generations used to write to each other, and wait patiently for the letter to reach the recipient. Letters may not bring instant gratification but they can warm a heart, they can spread happiness like no electronic communication can. Letters are a small part of you travelling via words to a person. And if you think you’ve nobody to write to, reach out and write to a stranger. You’d be surprised to know how few words can matter so much to someone.

And in case you’re getting a handwritten letter from someone, please VALUE it. I cannot say it enough that very few people would take out time and write in the current times. Even if you cannot write back, tell the person how much the letter matters. That’s the least you can do. And preserve it, for one day when you’re feeling low, this letter would do wonders. For this letter is a small reminder how much you mean to someone. For this letter is a beautiful memory of someone who treasures you.

Let me know your thoughts on Handwritten letters!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

“Some friendships are special enough that intentional distances hurt for a long long time”

Have you ever felt like a friend suddenly tries to maintain an intentional distance? I know all of us have lost friendships with time; wherein we or the other person has not been able to keep in touch, where in the distances came unintentionally. But what would u say to friendships where one of the friends consciously maintains a distance?

What do you do when you know that those friends are people you can always count upon. When you know those are the people who’d be the first ones to help you if you’re in a problem.  When you know the conversations, however silly they may be, were enjoyed by both people. When you know there has never been misunderstandings or arguments. But still the friends move away, leaving you completely baffled without mentioning any reasons.

And when such things happen, it’s the friendship that suffers but it’s the people who suffer the most. The one who moves away consciously may or may not feel it much, but the other person who is just left wondering about the reasons literally breaks down thinking about what went wrong. There are times when people who’ve been left alone even think it was all their mistake but still they never reach the core problem. And the worst happens when the person doesn’t solve the maze of your mind, is unable to answer your questions. It happens once, the mind understands; but when it happens more than that, with almost similar situations; it’s baffling. It’s depressing, it’s irritating and it definitely takes away the peace of mind.

Such things happen, yet life moves on. With a hint of sadness within, only to wish those distances wear off!!

 


 

Marriage- A word most of us detest while we’re in our early 20’s. Every girl wants her prince charming, who’d be understanding, caring, affectionate and what not. While tweeting today, I randomly started tweeting about #MarryHim tweets which did get a good response. This gave me an idea that every girl, no matter how strict or soft she is; wants almost the same qualities in a man at the end.

Sharing the screenshots below where some of the things that would make any guy desirable. Ofcourse these are not benchmarks, but yes these are some things every girl desires for in her guy 🙂

 

 

Girls- Enjoy reading them & wishing for that guy to come. Guys- Try to be the guy explained above.

Keep reading !

Ankita.

 


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I help a friend and feel happy. But I do expect them to help me when you need them..

I like a guy. I take out time for him. I care for him. I expect him to do the same..

I get gifts for my family. I also expect them to get me gifts at some point of time..

I have guests at home and I’m the best host possible. I also expect them to treat me the same way when I go to their house..

And when these expectations are not met, we get hurt. Each person expects, either consciously or subconsciously. At times we are hurt , other times we hurt others. It’s a vicious circle.

It is said that we should do everything without any expectations , then Y do we keep them. If we know expectations hurt, then y do we keep them ? Y do we like to get hurt ?

It’s because we are humans. We are customized this way that we expect automatically. And every time our expectations are not met , we get hurt. Hurt is what helps us grow. Love is no doubt the ultimate thing which evolves us as a person, but until we have got hurt ,we don’t grow completely.

The day we stop expecting is when we grow complete. It’s the day we reach the ultimate stage. Though in today’s times, it’s close to impossible to reach there.

Do give it a thought.

Ankita.


” Evolving through one’s Life is necessary for survival “

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The word Evolving applies as much to our life as it applies to the world. We expect the things around us to change for the good, so should our Life keep evolving with time. It’s a process that happens gradually over time & without any effort. But, at times, we have a declining evolvement rather than a positive one. At times, we are caught in a limbo state where there is an equal amount of positive as well as negative evolvement. Though none of it stops Life from moving on, at it’s pace.

I have just been thinking a lot, have always been somebody whose mind stays in an overdrive ; which is good at times & bad at other times. While I was reflecting upon my own Life since childhood ( ofcourse whatever I could remember, since I forget things too quick).  There has been some break through points where Life has evolved & took major turns; completely changing my personality. While there have also been points where I did not evolve much or have gone down the slope.

As a Kid, I was a complete introvert; somebody who would not speak at all. Even the principal of my school asked my parents to make me interact with people since I did not talk at all. As far as I remember, I was almost the same in school, a less introvert but extremely shy. With course of time, I started talking to people but was never an extrovert. Whenever I knew something on any subject, I would always help/speak up; but nothing beyond it. I had evolved from a complete introvert to somewhere close to an ambivert. High school was almost coming to an end & it was time to enter college. At the same time, I started spending a lot of time online courtesy my craze for an Indian television show & few actors. During the same time, I made a lot of friends; interacted with a variety of people over the forums. During this course of time, I realize I was somebody very playful & naughty , i.e someone who would pull everyone’s leg & also that I was a brilliant friend. Someone who cared a lot about human emotions & would go an extra mile to help people. These facets of my personality were never known to me & it was a good discovery.  The same time, college started.

As every other college kid, things had changed drastically for me. New set of people, with you for the next 4 crucial years. By around the second year, I was quite friendly with almost everyone. I wouldn’t call them as friends, but I hardly hated everyone or so. My family started complaining of me talking too much ( of course they loved it ), & tell me stories of how I was a big introvert. I was evolving in terms of appearance, dressing sense & mentally. Then came a standing still point when I don’t think I evolved much, it was kind of stagnant. But as the college was about to end, there was a drastic change in me. My dressing sense went from good to super cool, my personality had a 180 degrees turn, I was a completely new person. I was someone who was too bubbly, more of an extrovert, someone who was pretty happy like always. I joined another social networking site (Twitter) & my username justified my personality. I was shy , but at the same time, very friendly & interactive. Somebody who was bubbly & hyperactive almost all the time and somebody who was not over friendly at the same time. College ended & a lot of ups and downs came, a lot of decisions were made. I worked for a few months, which did evolve me in terms of deadlines, brainstorming, working with a team & knowing my faults.

And here I am , writing this blog post, who has evolved into someone else again. I feel responsible, I think much more & over think at times. There are a lot of mood swings & sad moments, a lot of OMG moments , a lot of When will this pass times & a lot of Can time please stop right here times. In short, Life is seeing a new face of me, a grown up face. Here am I, talking about evolving, how it is essential for life to sustain. Most of the times, it’s our personality which evolves & people around do notice the change. Evolve and make yourself better than the previous day, and you shall love a thousand years.

Do think if you are evolving, or you’ve hit a plateau. If it’s the latter case, find that something which will hit you off to the road again.

Ankita.


From ‘Friends’ to ‘Lovers’ and from ‘Lovers’ to ‘Friends’. The former journey is what almost everyone goes through & the latter is what few relationships go through. It’s either when the parting has been due to reasons not involving any personal fight or when one of them is still not okay with the parting. But the point is – Is it really possible to be “Just Friends” after you’ve gone through a romantic phase wherein you were the most important to a person to a phase wherein you just “might” be the most important.

Let me analyze all the situations & give my point of view on each of them. If both the people are still very much in love even after the parting (which was not ugly but circumstances forced the parting); it would be evident in every form of communication & much more evident in every meeting. Both the people may not show it, but inside; there would be expectations and still a ray of hope. But still after a point, they can become very good friends who understand the situation (provided they’re mature enough) & are ready to accept the reality.

While if the situation is like only one of them is still in love & the other one has moved on; things can get very messy. The person still in love would have high expectations subtly which would be shattered each time if the other person has moved on completely. But if the other person still has some speck of feeling left or cares about the person, they may try to bring things to normal; but eventually each conversation would end in a fight or turn out bad. In this kind of a situation, friendship may survive for few days or weeks or months depending on how long both of them can take the turmoil.

And if the point is where both of them have moved on in Life, they would probably not want to be friends. Even if they plan to remain friends, probability is that it would cause a lot of turmoil in their present romantic life. There are high chances that the present lovers would have a problem with the Ex-es, considering there were flames with those people at one time & there will always be “uncertainty” in mind. People would call it lack of trust, but , at the end we all are humans & each of us carry a speck of jealousy & insecurity within us; no matter we accept or not. So ultimately, friendship is very difficult until there is a high level of trust with the present lovers; eventually, yes it may just be possible; if things aren’t awkward.

Lastly, there can be a situation where a relationship ended ugly & both the people or one of them still wants to be friends after a gap of time primarily because they are unable to move on. There is a possibility that the other person would simply refuse to be friends, another possibility is that they eventually become friends but it got to awkward. Somebody will get hurt, some past things might be discussed & brought in time and again. Things which end ugly are pretty hard to get a beautiful new start unless there is a mutual level of understanding & respect for each other’s decisions. Or until time has made them mature enough.

This is just my point of view & it’s not necessary that the same happens as I mentioned. At the end, everything boils down to 1 thing- Understanding & Respect for each other. It’s the level of understanding that takes one through the ugly fights or rather to maintain relationships. If you’ve been more of friends than lovers while you were in the relationship, it would be much easier to be back to friends again; not that easy, but yes comparatively easier. And if you’re mature enough, you shall never hurt the other person in the process of getting your lover or friend back. At times, it is best to leave situations on time or just respect the other person’s decisions, no matter how hard they be. You should always keep one thing in mind- You had once loved the same person, that one person was once your world & the way you behave with them after the breakup reflects on how you are as a person. If you keep this in mind, you shall never hurt anyone & your life would be at much ease.

I am sure everyone who has been in a relationship can relate to atleast one of the situations. Were you mature enough to handle it in a good way? Do give it a thought and smile if you acted the way you should have :-).

Random Thought– Life has much more to offer than you can ever think with all it’s “uncertainty”.

Ankita.


p.s- ^^ Graphic done by Me

“Why Live when we are going to die one day?”

This was a question a 13-year-old asked me, which left me speechless as to how a small child could think so deep. I thought a lot and then I knew what I had to tell her. We need to live because God loves us. God gave us Life with a beautiful body, an intelligent mind and a thoughtful heart. He made an entire universe, made atleast few people who’d be our companions (friends) and gave us a family who’d love us unconditionally. He made some people funny, some philosophical, some serious and some bubbly. All of this was done to balance out each and every person, each and every emotion. For every angry person, they’d be a cheerful person; for every disgraceful thought, they’d be a thoughtful genuine thought.

Life is all about experiencing it all. It may not be a rosy path, but there’s certainly no fun in a path that dosenot include adventures and new lanes along with a lot of surprises. If we always knew how our life shall be, one day we’d be bored and probably wait for the end. Life is that path, that lets you explore the surprises and add thrill and excitement to them. Life is about experiencing every emotion that you can feel, communicating with every kind of person in terms of culture, country or the sense of thought.

 Life is just not perfect but the imperfections work well if you let it live its pace. The experiences may not always be good but there’ll be surely some instances that’d make you smile when you are about to die. There would be some people around you who would want to reverse back time and re-live life with you when you are about to die. There shall be memories etched in your forgetful mind that shall well up your eyes when you’re about to die. There shall be instances that might have brought tears when they occurred but now you can’t help but laugh at your stupidity. There shall be music you shall have drowned in, delicacies you would have savored, continents you’d have travelled and explored. There shall also be moments where you had felt dying would be easy, but you cross those phases. There shall have just one moment, which shall force you to tell god – Dear God, please let me live more. All of these are few reasons we need to live for, and not just think of death before we even start living.

We take our life too seriously and in the process forget living. The lesson she learnt now shall remain with her forever, in her happy moments and her low times. The passion to Live should be ignited at intervals with positive energy, excitement and lots of lively thoughts. And if you won’t ignite, someone else will. Despite all the negativity, Life is worth living, not just dragging. Give it a chance.

That was a small chapter of Life from the book of thoughts on Life from my heart. Hope it shall make atleast 1 person S.M.I.L.E ! Thanks for reading.

Ankita.



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