I am 24 years old. Right from the time I came into this world until now, my Dad has been my ultimate soldier. The relationship between a father and a daughter is such that he always wants to protect you from the world, and to keep you safe in his kingdom. Whenever I felt unsafe or scared, he was always there to hold my hand and tell me – It will be ok, I promise.
In today’s time, when everyone wants to take advantage of the weaker sex; there are people who prove you wrong. There are people who make you believe in the soldiers who protect women, who respect them and who stand up for them.
There have been many other people who’ve acted as my soldiers. In this blogpost, I’ll narrate an incident about a friend who showed respect towards a prostitute. He was driving through the dark streets while it rained heavily. The lights were dim and the road was not clearly visible. A girl clad in a saree was standing in the middle of the road and he stopped to ask if she needed help. Without uttering a word, the girl sat inside the car and asked him to take her to a hotel. He couldn’t understand why she wanted to go to a hotel instead of going home, but he continued. Suddenly, she started telling him how she still has to earn her money for the day and she has been waiting for too long for a customer. This left him more confused. On the way, he started asking her questions about her life.
He found out that she was a prostitute and was a little surprised. Since he was hungry, he took her to a nearby dhaba. They had dinner and she started telling him about her clients. Those who didn’t respect her but only wanted her body. He felt sad inside but was surprised at the enthusiasm of the girl. He asked her about where she lived and turned the car towards that side. She insisted on taking her to the hotel so she could earn her daily wages, since she had a family to support. He took her to her home instead, and handed her the money. She refused but he said this is the money for your honesty and for your daring attitude. And he left!
This story has left a huge impact on me, ever since I heard it. Such things make me believe that there is a soldier for each one out there. These soldiers just need to wake up and fight the world. These soldiers just need to be reminded about their duty.
I’ve been lucky to encounter soldiers in friends who’ve protected me over the years. The ones who’ve messaged me to ask if I reached home safely, the ones who’ve supported me emotionally when a friend ditched, the ones who’ve respected me when I asked for my space, the ones who’ve supported me in my decisions and the ones who’ve never left me alone even when I was rude to them. A salute to all those people who make me believe that Life is beautiful. That Life is worth the struggle. That Life is worth living.
“Some friendships are special enough that intentional distances hurt for a long long time”
Have you ever felt like a friend suddenly tries to maintain an intentional distance? I know all of us have lost friendships with time; wherein we or the other person has not been able to keep in touch, where in the distances came unintentionally. But what would u say to friendships where one of the friends consciously maintains a distance?
What do you do when you know that those friends are people you can always count upon. When you know those are the people who’d be the first ones to help you if you’re in a problem. When you know the conversations, however silly they may be, were enjoyed by both people. When you know there has never been misunderstandings or arguments. But still the friends move away, leaving you completely baffled without mentioning any reasons.
And when such things happen, it’s the friendship that suffers but it’s the people who suffer the most. The one who moves away consciously may or may not feel it much, but the other person who is just left wondering about the reasons literally breaks down thinking about what went wrong. There are times when people who’ve been left alone even think it was all their mistake but still they never reach the core problem. And the worst happens when the person doesn’t solve the maze of your mind, is unable to answer your questions. It happens once, the mind understands; but when it happens more than that, with almost similar situations; it’s baffling. It’s depressing, it’s irritating and it definitely takes away the peace of mind.
Such things happen, yet life moves on. With a hint of sadness within, only to wish those distances wear off!!
From ‘Friends’ to ‘Lovers’ and from ‘Lovers’ to ‘Friends’. The former journey is what almost everyone goes through & the latter is what few relationships go through. It’s either when the parting has been due to reasons not involving any personal fight or when one of them is still not okay with the parting. But the point is – Is it really possible to be “Just Friends” after you’ve gone through a romantic phase wherein you were the most important to a person to a phase wherein you just “might” be the most important.
Let me analyze all the situations & give my point of view on each of them. If both the people are still very much in love even after the parting (which was not ugly but circumstances forced the parting); it would be evident in every form of communication & much more evident in every meeting. Both the people may not show it, but inside; there would be expectations and still a ray of hope. But still after a point, they can become very good friends who understand the situation (provided they’re mature enough) & are ready to accept the reality.
While if the situation is like only one of them is still in love & the other one has moved on; things can get very messy. The person still in love would have high expectations subtly which would be shattered each time if the other person has moved on completely. But if the other person still has some speck of feeling left or cares about the person, they may try to bring things to normal; but eventually each conversation would end in a fight or turn out bad. In this kind of a situation, friendship may survive for few days or weeks or months depending on how long both of them can take the turmoil.
And if the point is where both of them have moved on in Life, they would probably not want to be friends. Even if they plan to remain friends, probability is that it would cause a lot of turmoil in their present romantic life. There are high chances that the present lovers would have a problem with the Ex-es, considering there were flames with those people at one time & there will always be “uncertainty” in mind. People would call it lack of trust, but , at the end we all are humans & each of us carry a speck of jealousy & insecurity within us; no matter we accept or not. So ultimately, friendship is very difficult until there is a high level of trust with the present lovers; eventually, yes it may just be possible; if things aren’t awkward.
Lastly, there can be a situation where a relationship ended ugly & both the people or one of them still wants to be friends after a gap of time primarily because they are unable to move on. There is a possibility that the other person would simply refuse to be friends, another possibility is that they eventually become friends but it got to awkward. Somebody will get hurt, some past things might be discussed & brought in time and again. Things which end ugly are pretty hard to get a beautiful new start unless there is a mutual level of understanding & respect for each other’s decisions. Or until time has made them mature enough.
This is just my point of view & it’s not necessary that the same happens as I mentioned. At the end, everything boils down to 1 thing- Understanding & Respect for each other. It’s the level of understanding that takes one through the ugly fights or rather to maintain relationships. If you’ve been more of friends than lovers while you were in the relationship, it would be much easier to be back to friends again; not that easy, but yes comparatively easier. And if you’re mature enough, you shall never hurt the other person in the process of getting your lover or friend back. At times, it is best to leave situations on time or just respect the other person’s decisions, no matter how hard they be. You should always keep one thing in mind- You had once loved the same person, that one person was once your world & the way you behave with them after the breakup reflects on how you are as a person. If you keep this in mind, you shall never hurt anyone & your life would be at much ease.
I am sure everyone who has been in a relationship can relate to atleast one of the situations. Were you mature enough to handle it in a good way? Do give it a thought and smile if you acted the way you should have :-).
Random Thought– Life has much more to offer than you can ever think with all it’s “uncertainty”.
Dosti karni hai aasaan
Aur nibhaani mushkil.
(It’s easy to do friendship
And difficult to maintain it)
Ehsaas bayaan kar deti hai dosti
Jab shabd kam pad jaate hain.
(Feelings express the friendship
When words fall short)
Nibha sako toh mil jaye jannat
Nahin toh reh jaye bus woh dosti
(If you maintain friendship, you get heaven
Else it’s just the normal friendship left)
Bitor lo moti dosti ke
Paa lo khushiyan anmol woh
(Gather the pearls of friendship
And get precious happiness)
Par yaar rakhna..
Dosti karni hai aasaan
Aur nibhaani mushkil.
It’s easy to do friendship
And difficult to maitain it)
This is an ode to Friendship. The friends, who shall be there for Life, no matter the fights, no matter the time, no matter the distance, no matter the communication and no matter anything. This is friendship beyond the negativity, beyond the expectations and beyond the words.
Lucky are those who find such friends. I hope the essence of friendship (Friends for Life) was felt through this poem.
Innocent and naïve she was,
This world was new for her,
A small town girl finally stepping into this big city.
Big dreams, a New life and New friends.
Life looked like never before.
The time passed by, people came and they left;
Some stayed, some never entered.
A special someone came,
She knew this was it, her life had meaning,
Before she could come out of the dream,
He left, too.